Thursday, September 20, 2007

"Jesus Died"

Last night as I was tucking Diva child into bed she informed me that Jesus died. I have to admit I was really taken aback and then was really mad. She just started Sunday school 2 short weeks ago. I have had a lot of trepidation about that; to be honest, much more so than with the start of preschool. I asked her who had told her this and she said 'someone from church'. To me, it was rather important that this came up 1) at bed time three days (or more) after this had come up and 2) she was confused by it all.

Before anyone freaks out and thinks I am not a 'real Christian' (whatever that means...) I do, in fact, realize that the death and resurrection of Jesus is the whole point of Christianity. But my Diva Child is THREE. She is little and doesn't get death. I'm not sure when anyone 'gets' death as it is the most unnatural thing that most of us spend our entire lives trying to avoid.

I'm also feeling rather sensitive about this as we have just had to say goodbye to the dog. When I asked her what it meant that Jesus died she said, ummm well....his body stopped working?

I guess this is the central theme of my rant. Jesus did die, but he rose from the dead. A supernatural event that is part of the faith of Christianity and the 'good news' of it all (if you will indulge me with some 1970's Jesuspeak).

When I think about talking about God and Jesus to a bunch of three year olds, I think of all kinds of biblical truths that they can get. God created us. God created the world...nature, animals, mountains, water, the planets.... God is good....loves us and wants relationship with us. Jesus is God's son. He loves Children. God loves us so much that he still loves us when we don't do the right thing. God forgives us anytime we say I'm sorry...

I could go on and on and on and on and on. But Jesus died? Well of course he did. Easter would be a great time to dive into that topic with almost 4 year olds.

So, what do you think? I'm seriously pissed that my child left church with the message 'Jesus is dead'. My issue? How would you feel? I'm really not into pumping my kids full of 'the story' just to know it. I would like them to experience God and learn things that would be relevant to their three year old selves. Just because I haven't told Diva Child that Jesus died, doesn't change a thing about that. Clearly we would go there at some point....I wouldn't have picked 4 days after the dog died, but that's just me.

Knowing God is a beautiful thing. I emphatically disagree that people have to be intouch with the most gruesome elements of the death of Jesus to experience Gods love, forgiveness, transformation. I think there are seasons for that type of understanding of God, but isn't there a lifetime of learning about God ahead of little children? I don't think we have to go to the most painful parts to experience freedom. Just like I don't have to read the news everyday to have gratitude for how cushy my life really is.

But then again, I don't make my little child know about the ugliness of the world to experience happiness either.

I would love to know how other Christians have navigated this issue.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Goodbye's are never easy

Today my old old old childhood dog as peacefully slipped away after 16 great doggy years. I am nothing, if not deeply practical, about the place of animals and pets in the grand scheme of this world. My old sweet Bandit has had more medical care than is maybe sane in an eternal sense. He did have his ACL reattached....He did have intervention over a decade ago when he was hit by a car. When a dog has arrived at year 16 of his doggy life (95 years if you do the voo-doo math of a vet) it is time to enjoy the spoils of a doggy life well lived and not look into the many ailments that are bothersome in doggy old age.

After a nice walk yesterday with my dad, the dog started having some issues with a growth on his body. It didn't seem to bother him but also would not stop bleeding. Long story short, the dog had an aggressive cancer that was going to claim his life and make him really uncomfortable in the following days and weeks.

My parents did the most merciful thing by euthanizing him this morning. He had one last long walk, some really good people food, and had his favorite owners by his side as he drifted off at last.

In the last 2 years, we have said goodbye to both of my grandmothers, our very old cat, and now Bandit. My diva child loved that dog. She called him 'my dog'. While I am a bit choked up about the dog, it was very difficult to tell my little girl that Bandit's body stopped working. It sucks to put an animal down even when you know it is the right thing to do. But it truly grieved my heart to see my little girl feel the sting of death herself. The child sobbed and sobbed and sobbed in my arms. And really, fair enough! It is sad!

I wish there were something 'true' I could tell her about death. But ultimately, we don't know exactly what happens. And any spiritual platitudes I could extend seem less relevant and hollow when it comes to an animal...and ridiculous to tell to a smart 3 year old. So we did pray. We thanked God for Bandit and his long & happy doggy life. We thanked God for the joy he brought us and the love we had for him. We also asked God to care for Bandit and to give him lots of good people food in doggy heaven.

I wish that the sweet blissful ignorance of babyhood could just stick around my house a little bit longer. This is it people....this is exactly the crap I was sad about when I posted about preschool starting. It is this awareness of life...the growing up and learning about the world. So much beauty and so much pain to learn about and experience. Yet we all do, and we are all pretty much fine. I will be sure to update when I have found a non freaky way to save my child from ever experiencing loss or pain and yet somehow have them not turn out to be narcissistic.