Last night as I was tucking Diva child into bed she informed me that Jesus died. I have to admit I was really taken aback and then was really mad. She just started Sunday school 2 short weeks ago. I have had a lot of trepidation about that; to be honest, much more so than with the start of preschool. I asked her who had told her this and she said 'someone from church'. To me, it was rather important that this came up 1) at bed time three days (or more) after this had come up and 2) she was confused by it all.
Before anyone freaks out and thinks I am not a 'real Christian' (whatever that means...) I do, in fact, realize that the death and resurrection of Jesus is the whole point of Christianity. But my Diva Child is THREE. She is little and doesn't get death. I'm not sure when anyone 'gets' death as it is the most unnatural thing that most of us spend our entire lives trying to avoid.
I'm also feeling rather sensitive about this as we have just had to say goodbye to the dog. When I asked her what it meant that Jesus died she said, ummm well....his body stopped working?
I guess this is the central theme of my rant. Jesus did die, but he rose from the dead. A supernatural event that is part of the faith of Christianity and the 'good news' of it all (if you will indulge me with some 1970's Jesuspeak).
When I think about talking about God and Jesus to a bunch of three year olds, I think of all kinds of biblical truths that they can get. God created us. God created the world...nature, animals, mountains, water, the planets.... God is good....loves us and wants relationship with us. Jesus is God's son. He loves Children. God loves us so much that he still loves us when we don't do the right thing. God forgives us anytime we say I'm sorry...
I could go on and on and on and on and on. But Jesus died? Well of course he did. Easter would be a great time to dive into that topic with almost 4 year olds.
So, what do you think? I'm seriously pissed that my child left church with the message 'Jesus is dead'. My issue? How would you feel? I'm really not into pumping my kids full of 'the story' just to know it. I would like them to experience God and learn things that would be relevant to their three year old selves. Just because I haven't told Diva Child that Jesus died, doesn't change a thing about that. Clearly we would go there at some point....I wouldn't have picked 4 days after the dog died, but that's just me.
Knowing God is a beautiful thing. I emphatically disagree that people have to be intouch with the most gruesome elements of the death of Jesus to experience Gods love, forgiveness, transformation. I think there are seasons for that type of understanding of God, but isn't there a lifetime of learning about God ahead of little children? I don't think we have to go to the most painful parts to experience freedom. Just like I don't have to read the news everyday to have gratitude for how cushy my life really is.
But then again, I don't make my little child know about the ugliness of the world to experience happiness either.
I would love to know how other Christians have navigated this issue.
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4 comments:
i must admit, i have my share of confusion about sharing the stories of christian faith with my kiddos. jim and i joke about the el going to "sunday school" after learning about "noah's ark and all the cute animals" asking questions about why noah was found naked after the whole ark deal. most of the stories in the OT, while part of our faith story, are not really the stories i want to tell the el right now as she is 3.
much like grimm's fairytales, i don't want to strip the stories of their meaning just so they become palatable, but, at the same time, i want to be age appropriate. and i want to invite the el (and ben, too) into our family faith story.
all in all, we, too, are wrestling with similar things.
gosh, never thought this would be that difficult...
here's to the messy journey...
peace.
thanks holly, it is nice to know other people are wrestling with similar stuff.
Im really struggling with how to handle this. My mama instinct wants to yank her from Sunday school...but she does like it. I guess I want something more for my kids. I want them to experience God not be indoctrinated with the story so they can say 'the prayer' and then we can all put notches in our bibles now that the three year olds are 'saved'. What does that even mean?
Yet...I will be bad bad bad christian if I go right at this at church. As if I am 'ashamed of the gospel' bla bla bla bla
But what of the people who are just trying out church? What of the parents who are new to the whole idea of Jesus? What do they say when their three year old wonders why Jesus is dead?
Small wonder I don't fit in at church all that well....
sometimes I wonder how my parents did, because overall I think they did okay...I don't remember being worried and such when I was little about whether Jesus was okay. Oh for the faith of a child! I think I simply believed that Jesus is alive/around/available. I didn't need to make sense - I pray my kids will have that somehow - but I don't know how best to help that along.
This is tough because:
1. 3 is the exact age when kids get interested in death. I have many crayon drawings of life cycles my Patience did at that age. They are somewhere between "awe-inspiring" and "deeply disturbing." I even posted them on my early blog two years ago. You know, for support and feedback.
2. My experience (admittedly in the Catholic Church) is a HUGE emphasis on the "Jesus died" thing. They started with "Jesus died" and then focused on either side of that event after that, more.
3. The death obsession began after learning about "Jesus died" in the Catholic Church.
I was disturbed and perturbed.
First, I tried to ascertain whether she was upset or bothered.
After I realized it was more "not quite getting it" and "curiosity" on her part, I realized it presented an opening.
I had to sit and think about how *I* felt about death. I realized I felt uncomfortable, understandably, and wished I felt more natural about it, since it's inevitable.
I thought about what i wanted all of my conscious views about death to be.
And we went from that point forward. nearly three years later, it seems to have been the right thing.
However.
I wish I'd been prepared IN ADVANCE.
I wish they'd told me they were going to discuss that "Jesus died."
In other words, I 100% understand how you are feeling because I think it sounds a lot like how I felt.
I wish I had good words or advice or wisdom. I can link to sites, if you want
But I wanted to say I understand, and we dealt with it,and it has been okay.
So hang in there. Good luck. You'll do well. I know it.
Julie
Using My Words
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