Who's your Man Meme

Thanks for the tag Karen

1. Who is your man?
Big Daddy J

2. How long have you been together?
8 Years

3. How long did you date?
A few weeks (yikes!! so far, that has worked out pretty well for us!) We laid eyes on one another for the first time in August or September of 1999. We started mountain biking and rock climbing together in October. We then went out on our first 'date' in October. We were talking about marriage and were ring shopping in November. And in early December, we got engaged.

4. How old is your man?
34

5. Who eats more?
um....probably me. I have a rather high metabolism and eat all the time.

6. Who said "I love you" first?
It was all such a whirlwind...I think we arrived at saying I love you at the same time. I'm not sure who said it first.

7. Who is taller?
He is the tall one by about 5 inches at 5'6"

8. Who sings better?
I am going to say me. Although I love it when he is putting it all his effort into singing.

9. Who is smarter?
I think we are smart in entirely different ways. He is really pragmatic and mathematically inclined. He takes things apart and fixes them. It would have never occurred to me to ever take anything apart....ever. I love to read and write. I am intuitive and love the complexities of the very grey world we live in. Big Daddy J's world is black and white, filled with rights and wrongs. In fact, he tends to see issues in rights and wrongs while I am always 'bending the rules' so to speak. It drives us nuts about each other....although I think we value the big difference there.

10. Whose temper is worse?
That depends. I run hot. I raise my voice and make passionate arguments. I tend to 'bark' at the kids. But then that's it; it's over. In fact I have a gift at letting it go and not even remembering what I was mad about. Big Daddy J tends to simmer and hold grudges. We both think the other has a worse temper.

11. Who does the laundry?
We both do

12. Who takes out the garbage?
We both do, but he usually rolls the big can out on Trash day.

13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
That would be me.

14. Who pays the bills?
For now he does, but I may be taking over that endeavor.

15. Who is better with the computer?
Him

16. Who mows the lawn?
Neither of us....Someone else does it.

17. Who cooks dinner?
We both really like to cook. I mainly cook dinner during the week, but sometimes he does. On the weekend it is pretty split.

18. Who drives when you are together?
Pretty much him.

19. Who pays when you go out?
Who ever has access to a wallet and who isn't chasing down the kids.

20. Who is most stubborn?
That would be him. He comes from a long line of impressively stubborn people.

21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong?
That would be me, given number 20.


22. Whose parents do you see the most?
Mine

23. Who kissed who first
He asked my permission to kiss me. It melted my heart. Very very sweet.

24. Who asked who out?
He asked me out. I had just given up dating for a while when he inconveniently showed up on the scene to delightfully throw off my big plan.

25. Who proposed?
Well, the whole relationship moved super fast. I was sort of freaked out by it all and nearly dumped him in a parking lot because I just couldn't take the intensity of the whole thing. I was really afraid that this would go on for a few years and then he would get some job offer across country and be all 'its been real sweetie, but I don't want a long distance thing' (something I had already experienced twice). In exasperation he lightly banged his head against the steering wheel of his old car and said 'but Sarah, I want to marry you!'.

While this wasn't the actual proposal, it was the turning point in our few week old courtship. The words had been spoken, it was just the details that needed working out. We shopped for a ring together (I totally should have just let him do it, I would have gotten a way bigger rock). It wasn't exactly a surprise when he did the formal proposal, but I was delighted.

26. Who is more sensitive?
I think we are both quite sensitive, although I may be a bit more so.

27. Who has more friends?
I do.

28. Who has more siblings?
He does. I have one brother, he has two sisters.

29. Who wears the pants in the family?
I think our relationship is pretty equal. I'm no shrinking violet.

What a month!

I feel like I have abandoned my poor fledgling blog. Thank you Julie for your comments and reminding me that I do, in fact, have a blog. (and apparently, a person or two who actually read it!)



For the last several months I keep saying how we are in the midst of so many changes. We really still are. It feels as though it has been a year of change. But I think I may just live like this all the time. Either way September was NUTS!



My husband has started a new job that entails some international travel. September brought Big Daddy to India. He was gone a full week which was the longest he has ever been away from me and the kids. It did result in some very cool presents.

In the middle of that I attended two births. I had taken these clients before Big Daddy had the new job. It would not have been my first choice to balance my husband's absence with being on call for two separate clients. But it all worked out. Somehow, the crazy details of my doula life fall into place at just the right time so that I can be physically and mentally able to serve birthing women.

Diva Child started preschool and has been doing very well. Minus the intentional peeing for mommy...you know going on the potty perfectly, as if she has been doing it her whole life, while at school and then actually saving some pee to go right outside the car door at pick up. Her ability to only wet her clothes and then finish on the potty is somewhat commendable. Thankfully, almost a month and a half later she seems to be tiring of this game.

The end of September brought a week of all things BIRTH. There was a lovely Red Tent Event that had women sharing personal birth stories. There was the folding of programs. Late nights talking about transparency in maternity care. How can we help women have the type of birth they want? The actual performances of the play were moving and beautiful.

Leading up to the play also brought together myself and 3 other amazing doulas to start a doula collective of sorts. We are 4 independent doulas who back one another up and support one another in our field. We are busy trying to make better connections with area hospitals, care providers, women's groups, and doulas. We all believe that women's birth experiences matter and that women should be supported in labor and birth if that is her desire.

With my new massage room I have been really working from home. It is a delight. I love it so very much. My clients from my old work space have made their way back and it is all working out.

So with all the newness...all the change, I am freaking out a little. I am quite happy but my body is very stressed out. I am a bit overwhelmed with the small things that add up to the whole. My work nuisances. As we all know, no job is perfect in every sense. There are always the dishes to do after the joy of creating the meal. It is the dishes type details that I am mired in. In my three roles: Mama, doula, massage therapist, I have been avoiding the 'dishes'.

You know what a house looks like when the dishes have sat in the sink for a week? It's not.good. My brain is filled with the clutter of things to do/things left undone. My home has weird back ups of laundry and sorting. I have just scads of paperwork calling to me for massage and doula business stuff.

So that, dear blog, is why I have put you aside. It is a self grounding for avoiding all that other stuff. However, I think maybe my mama self needs to ground mama sarita from on line asteroids.