Goodbye's are never easy

Today my old old old childhood dog as peacefully slipped away after 16 great doggy years. I am nothing, if not deeply practical, about the place of animals and pets in the grand scheme of this world. My old sweet Bandit has had more medical care than is maybe sane in an eternal sense. He did have his ACL reattached....He did have intervention over a decade ago when he was hit by a car. When a dog has arrived at year 16 of his doggy life (95 years if you do the voo-doo math of a vet) it is time to enjoy the spoils of a doggy life well lived and not look into the many ailments that are bothersome in doggy old age.

After a nice walk yesterday with my dad, the dog started having some issues with a growth on his body. It didn't seem to bother him but also would not stop bleeding. Long story short, the dog had an aggressive cancer that was going to claim his life and make him really uncomfortable in the following days and weeks.

My parents did the most merciful thing by euthanizing him this morning. He had one last long walk, some really good people food, and had his favorite owners by his side as he drifted off at last.

In the last 2 years, we have said goodbye to both of my grandmothers, our very old cat, and now Bandit. My diva child loved that dog. She called him 'my dog'. While I am a bit choked up about the dog, it was very difficult to tell my little girl that Bandit's body stopped working. It sucks to put an animal down even when you know it is the right thing to do. But it truly grieved my heart to see my little girl feel the sting of death herself. The child sobbed and sobbed and sobbed in my arms. And really, fair enough! It is sad!

I wish there were something 'true' I could tell her about death. But ultimately, we don't know exactly what happens. And any spiritual platitudes I could extend seem less relevant and hollow when it comes to an animal...and ridiculous to tell to a smart 3 year old. So we did pray. We thanked God for Bandit and his long & happy doggy life. We thanked God for the joy he brought us and the love we had for him. We also asked God to care for Bandit and to give him lots of good people food in doggy heaven.

I wish that the sweet blissful ignorance of babyhood could just stick around my house a little bit longer. This is it people....this is exactly the crap I was sad about when I posted about preschool starting. It is this awareness of life...the growing up and learning about the world. So much beauty and so much pain to learn about and experience. Yet we all do, and we are all pretty much fine. I will be sure to update when I have found a non freaky way to save my child from ever experiencing loss or pain and yet somehow have them not turn out to be narcissistic.